Pending

So the tale of waiting for baby continues...I dumped my Escalade on Saturday, for a Lincoln Navigator-say what? Word, and presently I am at the dealer waiting on a new key and wheel locks. Oh, by the way-it is our anniversary-2 years and counting. I love my wife, and well, love makes you change the way you think at times. The Cadillac was my alter ego-big, gawdy and simply the loudest voice in the room. Every time I got in it, well, I became a super hero...hip hop in motion you know. But, after the theft of the wheels last year and busted out windows last week, well-the wife no longer wanted the"ego" around. Respect. So, I looked for something comparable but not as, well, you know, noticeable. So, the Navi-not sure if it is less noticeable but it hopefully will not be a "target".

Anyway, all this is part of the master plan to prepare for the little one. We want no drama, stress, or bad energy around our home or any other place while in the days of final preparation. I am so, all over the place about this baby. I mean, in a totally positive way...but just scared, nervous, psyched, proud, anxious, hesitant...all the above you know. I want to be the best father ever, but I do not know what that means. I have great father, and I had the best grandfathers too...so maybe I do know what it means in the surreal subconscious way, but I want to be the best me.

There is no way of knowing how you will do until, well, until you begin doing it so I guess all in all that will be the testimony-once it begins. It is approaching so fast-seems like all the months went by in a flash, and here Liss and I are, on the cusp of parenthood. I never wanted to be so right in all my life-right like in righteous; walking a straighter path. Lord knows I need help to be the best me, so I feel like he blessed us with the little wonder. This responsibility to take both Melissa and I to our next level of consciousness. Not simply on somewhat can I do for my child, but what can I be and what type of example will I set for my child. It is not about losing yourself for the little one, but about becoming the best you for the little one. Least that is how I am thinking about it right now...at this moment. The true emotions that I will feel, when he or she gets to the world is locked somewhere deep down inside me, but I have a feeling it will surge to the top of my being when I get my first look at our child. Love is pending release.

Stay tuned.