Saturday, October 18, 2008

Fall...

It is fall...as I stare out of my window the beauty of God's paint brush is evident. The trees have changed color, an array of yellows, oranges, reds and greens lie across the grass-fallen from their momentary perch of display. The sky is as blue as Caribbean water...with cottonballs sprinkled throughout its canvas. It is a truly beautiful day. It is actually Howard University Homecoming, and again-a wonderful day for the game and the fashion show on campus. But outside of all that, I feel good. Life is not easy nor simple by far, but it is good. I am healthy, I have love, I am able to pay my bills and eat...not so bad this life.

I had not been blogging regularly for some time, I do not know how many entries begin with "it has been a while since I have written..." I have somewhat of an erratic sense of being with regard to my art. I do feel I am an artist-we are all self-defined beings in one way or another-but I feel that I create something from nothing...infrequently but enough to designate that ability as artistic. I am a writer...not reknown or even plain known for that title but that is what I feel I am and one day-perhaps-will truly be. Presently I am just figuring it all out.

I just turned 35. Well, it was actually several months ago but feels like "just." I sometimes look at where others are at in their respective life at 35-actors, business people, atheletes...but that is truly an unrealistic comparison. I do not feel like 35 is mid-life, but at some point dreams of being "famous" or really doing some major things tend to diminish the older you get. 35 is the age when you begin to come to terms with the possibility of never fulfilling those dreams. Does not in any way mean that you will not, but responsibilities have changed for many at this age and with responsibility-mortgage, family, job/career-dreams sometimes are, well as Langston put it, deferred.

I just read a book about dreams...it was not phrased that way at all but that was what it is about, following your dreams and passion. It was entitled the Alchemist. I recommend it to all out there in internet land. It has me really thinking about my dreams, or as referenced in the book, my personal legend. It is like there is something within you, something you have always wanted out of life but perhaps feared taking the chance or the steps to attain it. You may be comfortable and safe in your life now, but that emotion of "what could have been" gnaws at you every so often. The book said most never respond to that feeling...never seek out their personal legend. Never really fulfill their heart's purpose. I do not want to be old and gray and still wonder what if? I know I do it now...and that may be the only problem-finding the courage to pursue that which is within your soul.

There is a line in the book that stays with me, and I will paraphrase it here-if you really follow your dream or your personal legend and it is in tune with that which God has placed in your spirit for you then all the powers of the universe will conspire to make it happen in your life. Deep, all the powers of the universe will conspire to make your goal a reality. What if we really believe that...I know it is simply an illustration of faith in God, but if we really gave it all to God and did our best to accomplish that which drives our spirit...hmmmm, what are the possibilities?

Fall. One of my most favorite times of the year. School used to start, so it always reminds me a new beginning. A time for learning new things, new ideas and ways to achieve in life. The earth puts on one last show before the old is passed away and the new life is born in the spring. Fall-how beautiful today is.

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