Evaluation of Self...

I think the hardest thing for people to do, myself included, is evaluate themselves. I mean truly take a hard look at the external, and internal being and be open as well as critical of all that they see. I, presently, have begun such an evaluation. Ironically speaking, I had my performance review at work just yesterday, and it was real good...may even fall into a bonus. I work hard, but know I could do better-still, I had a good review...evaluation. So, as I sit down with myself, I try to look at both the positive and negative aspects of my being, the successes and the recent failures, the sins and well, there is no opposite of sin. This examination is not going to be done in a day or two, it may well take years to truly come to some rational conclusions but it has begun. I am looking inward for answers to my own shortcomings, faults, and also to my purpose as a human being.

Already, and like just last night, I had somewhat of an epiphany during this exploration. Perhaps, I am on the wrong path...like, perhaps I have been working towards the wrong thing for a while and God is screaming at me to change course. Do something differently. The phrase "stay the course" sounds so foolish, when I think of the President using it with regard to our nation's situation in Iraq-but, am I just as foolish in my "staying the course" in areas of my life that are not fulfilling? Even more so, because at least the President is passionate about his need to continue...I at this point, do not wield that same sort of passion with regard situations and committments I have taken on. This, as I examine myself, could be part of the reason why some endeavors have been unsuccessful.

Do you know where you are going to...
do you know the things
that life
is showing you
where are you going to
do you know...
or even understand
that the plan God has set forth
is beyond your
comprehension
not to mention
that you do not control
anything outside the desires of
your soul
emotions of your heart
at times we are set apart
pushed back
from that which we believe
is ours
or should be
but everything we want
is not always
for us
nor do we
need all we
wish to have
so be glad
in the journey
find gain in the exchange
of life and ideas
embrace both your fears
and triumphs
failures and successes
for all are the nexus
of your being
begin again
a million times more once
you have started
but never depart from he
who guides without words
leads without command
simply follow
at times it may be slow
but until you know
where you are going to
the things that life is
showing
until you know
then believe
and you shall
one day
find your way
your path
your purpose...

RushTaper Copyright 2006