Genocide...

There was a Hip-Hop song out when I was say, 14 years-old call "Self-Destruction." It was a collaboration of the biggest artists in Hip-Hop at the time, in an effort to stop the violence going on in urban areas. The violence they were trying to stop through their music, was that which has been entitled black-on-black crime. Young people killing each other, at will, and without remorse or even just cause. It was an issue then...but now, it is out of control. Every night a child is being shot for what is assumed to be a legitimate reason-if only to the shooter-but it makes no sense to the rest of us. It is both disheartening, and scary. With no regard for human life, you may as well be dead yourself. The irony is however, that this rampant violence is usually contained within the community that is predominantly poor and minority which in turns supports both the Prison Industrial Complex and the undertaker-but that is another entry altogether.

But prior to prison and/or death, the mere issue of self-destruction, academically described as genocide- the deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political, or cultural group-is a real problem in the African American community. Truly, there is no one to directly blame, except those participating in the atrocity. I mean, there has been a recent debate surrounding the destructive lyrics of Hip-Hop, and I have even discussed it within the blog before, and how that has a negative and powerful influence on the youth. Perhaps Hip-Hop is the culprit, as it once was trying to be the cure as described before. But Hip-Hop alone is not the catalyst for the genocidal tendancies of our youth...Hip-Hop is an expression of the reality, not the determinant there of. In other words, Hip-Hop is reflective of that which is happening, but it does not necessarily create the environment in which this behavior happens. It is a product of it...merely the soundtrack of a generation faced with a myriad of issues and little means of expression.

Therefore, the issue is more one of indoctrinated self-hate and a loss of self-appreciation. But as Bill Cosby and others have stated, it is also one of acceptance. In that, I say that because this behavior is somewhat accepted, or even expected in some areas, many speak only to the problem and not to the resolution nor to how the problem has occurred. Where and how did it begin? Does history play a role in the present situation-or has the self-hatred demonstrated by such destructive behavior amongst our young people simply come out of nowhere? We argue over the problem, and to some extent where it comes from, but the voice of change is not as resounding. How do we end the problem...how do we regenerate self-love amongst our children; our entire community?

It is like, the ability to do more or be above destructive behavior has never been instilled in children, and as they grow into adolescence they have a blatant disregard for life. Most specifically their own. If I disrespect myself, then why would I respect your life? Questions never asked but answered in Emergency Rooms and cemetaries across the country. But as stated, it seems that many of us-to include myself-are so ready to discuss this issue but less inclined to take action to resolve it. The illustration of this sad commentary is in a story I read about this kid in Washington, DC, who was taking action against the violence in his community. He was promoting awareness, putting together documentaries on youth violence-just working towards improving the situation he found himself within. But now, now he is gone...taken away by the same senseless violence he spoke out against. Aaron Teeter, dead at 19. I cry for him, because as we lose Aaron Teeter we lose hope...for hope is born in the youth. We lose a grasp on our future as a community...because our children are dying. The story on Aaron Teeter is in the link below.

http://www.nbc4.com/news/13224512/detail.html?subid=10101441

But the entire story of his life, is in the streets outside. What is really happening to us-and why? How can we stop the cycle of pain? Who cares who is right or wrong about what has happened to the community-what can we do to fix it...to move forward? First identification with the beauty within-and a reconnection with the love of who we are as a people. Subsequent to that-marry education with opportunity and you move the mind of the youth and increase their possibility for success. Aaron Teeter was on that path...so many others are as well. Let us begin to reach out to them first...or tomorrow may never come.

Got this song...

This song in my soul, that I keep singing to myself but I want to let it out. I want to sing it to the world. Now, I ain't much about no singing...but it just be all welled up inside of me and itching to just bust right out my mouth. I even want to just right it down on here, so I can hear it in my mind's ear while writing, but I am afraid someone will read it and not know the beat, and it will come out-into the air all wrong. So I am just holding it, waiting for the right moment to just give it up to everyone...anyone willing to listen for just a moment.

I mean this song, this song I keep singing...well, one might say it was parallel to my life. I mean I got so many dreams-big dreams and little dreams, real dreams and well, unrealistic dreams but dreams all the same. Like my song, they all welled up inside of me, waiting to just come out. Waiting for me to take the right steps so maybe one of them can become true. Patient, but losing it. I know I aint the only one ever feel like this here...cant be. Everyone that has ever made anything outta their life had to feel this way. I mean, there had to come a time when all that they were trying to be, be it actor, singer, rapper, lawyer...whatever, a time when simply being that which you felt you were destined to be, well, that was you could think about and everything you do in life is connected to the destination. Individual success...but not about wealth or fame, but just about doing that which is in your spirit...that which was laid inside you upon creation.

Until you are afforded the opportunity to release that song, that song within your spirit that carries with it your true destiny...then, well, you just existing. I am fixing to sing, sooner than later. I mean I have to, I can't hold it in no more. Help me Lord, to release all the talent you have placed inside my person. Allow that which you would have me do to serve you, come at this time. I want to be ready...I want to sing. Spoken soul...yeah, that is what it should be called. Spoken Soul...

Lose to Win

Last night I was in a contest, a speech contest no doubt and I lost. I thought I would win, well, at least second but I came in 3rd out of 6 contestants. Not really a bad loss, and in many ways a moral victory. I rationalized why I was not the champ all the way home, but at the end of the day I just did not win the contest-however, I did gain a significant amount of information to aid me in the future pursuit of the trophy. You see, the loss is often what is needed more than the win, to encourage or rather inspire us to do more than we have done. In other words, had I won, I would have definitely thought that my speech, and my presentation were above all others and needed no refinement. However, as modest as that sounds-insert laughter-I would have been wrong. You see, at times it is just better to lose...you respect the win more, and the possibility of doing so is no longer innate. It is a gift, a reward, a triumph...a grand accomplishment. It is all the more sweeter having lost in the past. Thus, sometimes, to learn how to win you first have to lose. Lose to win...real simple, word.

Debt

God owes me nothing...not another breath, not another second on this Earth. I am not the chosen one, or a man entitled to all my heart desires. I am nothing of the sort. As a matter of fact, neither are you...are any of us. We are owed nothing...not from God, from our parents or from anyone else we may have a relationship with. Be it your job, your school, your family...friends...even your country. I and we are owed nothing. There are no true entitlements...not really. Most people however, to include myself, never believed this to be true. I am owed something...I have always thought. Something should be given to me for my effort, for my trouble, for my mere existence. But I was wrong.

You see, inevitably, it is I who owe...and you as well. Life was not provided so that we could just look out for ourselves. I mean, the essence of humanity...the reason we were blessed with logic and reason is arguably to make better that which we were born into. If you truly believe in a higher power, and for the moment I give him or her no name, just the Creator, than you were in turn created for what purpose...individual gain? I, in my most modest attempt, say no. You were created, as I, for some higher purpose. I mean it is so easy to look at messiahs and prophets in every religion, and truly believe that they lived for God and for the betterment of man. So why only them...and not us all?

We revere all those, throughout history who have sacrificed themselves for the progression and betterment of mankind but at the same time the majority of us shy away from any attempt to do the same. Too busy, not my problem, no time, who would listen to me, I dont have an opinion, what would people think...what would people think if I stood up for what I believed, what would people think if I protested against all that is unjust and discriminatory, what would people think if I spoke out against that which is wrong...what would people say? What would the Creator say if you did not?

It must be understood, that this entry is not an indictment, for if so than I too stand accused of being less of a representation of humanity and more of an agent for capitalism and individualism...but I see the error in my ways. I sat and I thought about the arguement over the war in Iraq. Congress wanting to pull the purse, and the President talking about how that would be a disservice to the troops. Neither discussing the debt they both owe, to the thousands who have lost their lives and the generation that has lost their hope, for a war that has more to do with priviledge and capital than with freedom. What is the debt owed to mankind...for the destruction of a generation of people?

Numbers and money will mean little on the day of judgement...and I, well, I will be judged just the same as all others. What will our debts be on that day and will our lives-really how we have lived in this life-be payment for our debts?