B-Day...the Thirty-somethin' Chronicles

So here it is, August 21st and the Lord has blessed me to get through another year of life. The thirties seem to be the most transitional period of any man and woman's lives, in that as young as you sometimes feel the full girth of your responsibilities become more than evident. In other words, you all grown up now. I have a wife, two homes, a dog, a Director position, and I am one of the anchors in my family. This is not tooting my horn, that does not need to happen, this is what is real when you accept all that you have been led and expected to do. It is not a game...but it is fun all the same.

My relationship with both family and friends is different now-I know there is both a role I play in others lives as well a position they hold in mine. My friends are all moving in a positive direction, even if that direction is just keeping their heads above water and trying to make it...it is positive. I have no time for the negativity the world tries to project on you-got to be beyond that. I can only spend time with those who move through their issues with determination and what I like to call "intestinal fortitude". At this age, there is no such thing as giving up or trying to just getting over on others, no sir. At this age it is about getting up, getting out and getting something...sounds like an old hip-hop song. But that is what it is.

I was just telling someone the other day, I never dreamed of being at this age-not when I was a kid or even more recently. But time passes, regardless of how you try to stay at the same spot in life...time, well it is in control. The major point in even making that statement though, about time, is that you have to do something with it. An example is a few years ago I ran into some overwhelming issues in grad school-and there was a point when I just wanted to quit. Yeah the big Q. But a good friend laid the realest statement on me I ever got- he was like the time gonna pass anyway. Whether it takes you 10 years or 2, the time is gonna pass-question is what you gonna do with it?

Say word. In all my years on this good ol' Earth, damn-am I making the best of my time? There has been plenty wasted, even doing wrong...but if there were lessons and laughs within that then I have to say it was still time well spent. However, at this point, when you are fully aware of where you want to go and all you wish to be (never stop wishing), then time is more of a commodity. No longer am I waiting for time to just pass...waiting for the weekend or the next holiday. Naw, each day, hour, minute...second, is precious in itself.

So all in all, birthdays are the best days. Just get to celebrate yourself, that fact that you exist...your life. Everyone around you, just happy that you are alive and that you have been a part in some minuscule way, of their life. How wonderful it is, to reflect on time and who with and how you have spent it. It is also a day to think about what you plan to do with the next year of your life. I mean, some people make New Year's resolutions, but I tend to make B-Day Resoul-lutions. Yeah, you can bite the style if you want. Just to me, the next year of my own life has more relevance than the calendar year. What do I want to accomplish in the next 365 of my own existence?

I will ponder on where I will be

when the time I find in front of me

is behind

and yesterday

is but a memory in my mind

a reflection of the discipline of hours

passed

and the questions asked of the future

on today

have been answered...

but alas,

I tend to dream during the day

while my night is the only time

I am sleeping

for time awake

is made to create

eyes wide open

for I am seeing all that

I am supposed to be far out in

front of me

reaching towards the stars

for their light heals scars and mistakes

pain and heartbreaks

meaning-

I illuminate the darkness

with statements and phrases

about God's amazing gift

to turn sinner to servant

heathen to healer

all revealed within the midst

of trials and tribulations of life...

I might save somebody's soul

when they hear tale of the rocky road

been traveled

dastardly deeds been done

see they ain't the only one

hopes unraveled

shame shown plain like the sun

yet still here

triumph over challenge

and

balance gained one...

day at a time

on this one day I am

inclined to celebrate

my own birth

allow my self-worth

to shimmer...

shine...

shadow-shatter the impossibilities

never

mine

copyright 2010