Winter Wonderland

I am sitting looking out the window onto the North Carolina landscape, and it is snow covered and beautiful. White Christmas...didn't happen til a bit later in the day, but they got one down here-which is far from usual. It made it special, kind of picturesque. I have some time off so we will be here for a few days...just chillin with the family. It is a good thing to get out of the city for a minute, away from the hustle and bustle.

midnight

I should be asleep right now, laying down and resting these weary bones...but I am here. Looking into the night through nouns and verbs...not wanting to address the issues of the day but just wanting to free flow-allow thoughts to travel until they decide to stop. The beauty and ability of the written word...

She carries the universe in her womb

life of the great generation to come

comes from within her person

she is deserving of more than gratitude

perhaps praise

for mankind cannot survive without

she

yet more often than not she is not valued

as the anchor of our society

Queen

should be her name

Cold

as a December morning

was her stare into the distance

a witness of too many trials to

testify

she rather cry waterless tears in the wee

hours as the whistle

of the wind pierces her solitude

hadn't thought of him

since the springtime of some

years before

now his mental presence weighs heavily,

leaving tracks in her mind

like footprints on soft soil

seems her soul seasoned with lackluster

bits and pieces of promises

unkept

heart filled with remnants of dreams

developed in a dark room

and exposed to light too fast

exposed too fast-

still first memory of he

a first

illuminating innocence lost

almost...

light in a space less lit

hidden from the present

by time...

and a silent wish to negate

all memories

to remain...simply

cold

as a December morning

Heartbeat...

So it all became just that much more real today. I heard the heartbeat of my child. It was a powerful sound-the sound of life inside my most precious treasure, my wife. I did not know exactly how I would feel when I first heard it, but it was almost surreal. Like I was watching another couple on television...crazy huh? A little baby is growing in there...I saw a glimpse of life on the screen and I could only pause, gasp...wow. I actually taped the heartbeat on my phone as we sat there and listened to my wife's belly. Who are you? What will you be like? Are you okay? No answers...just whoosh, whoosh, whoosh...like waves of the ocean crashing against the shore. We are out here waiting for you...whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Life man. God is great.

I don't know what being a parent will feel like. It has not hit me yet. The morning sickness, and all that is hitting my wife, but I am the constant observer and provider. I am not going through this as she is, but I am going through something. A range of emotions, heart beating faster with every thought of the magnitude of this moment-whoosh, whoosh, whoosh...right, we are both anxious. The baby to be...to live...to exist. Me, anxious to hold, care for, watch...teach...help grow. Anxious. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh...my heart can't stop beating fast. Crazy right. A baby that God has created for us. What a responsibility, and a blessing...an honor.

I sit here now and write this. Both mommy and the little one are fast asleep...least I think so. My heartbeat has slowed down...and the nervousness of the day is dissipating. I can breathe a little easier because everything was okay. We are fine. This is the most amazing day of my life. But I think there are more to come.

inspired

I never knew exactly when I would know that writing was my only way out of the monotony of life. I just always thought, if I ever found there was nothing I could do...all else failed, well then I would sit and write the great American novel and be back in the world. Get a job, just writing. It was my essential fall back plan. Yup-no formal training or "by lines" to speak of, but if it all fell down I would toss in the chips and just make it as an author. That was plan B.

The problem is, plan A was never quite figured out. The bigger irony in all of this is that many would say that I am a planner. That my life has been well scripted and I am just fulfilling roles that I wrote long ago...I know this is not an original thought as I heard it in a movie once-but regardless, I am just living the screenplay I drafted college. That is what some may think. However, I am not. It may sound like it if I get into telling the story, but my history is not to be told in chronological order. No sir, it is for chapters, and cutouts and missing scenes. I am no this, then, that type of cat. But I digress.

Writing was or maybe is to be my ticket. Major hurdle in writing though is what are you even going to write about? I mean, it is easy to want to say something but realize that upon making the statement the world will view you differently. I have discussed that concept before, so no need to revisit but if you want to really get your message across to the masses...write it yourself. The world will hear you...or at least they will give you a multitude of opinions on what they heard.

But back to the great American novel...how does one begin? Did Henry David Thoreau know that Walden would be heralded as one of the great American novels? No-he just went to the woods and wrote...most probably thought he was weird but he just needed to think and be away from it all. Now his thoughts are treasured, by millions. In other words, there is no formula, you just let go and release the story that has survived within you for as long as you know. If people can relate, then you are on you way. Books transcend time because times change, but people do not. There are only so many human emotions and they do not mutate over time...humans are humans. Therefore, if you touch them in this day in age, you will touch them in the future and beyond.

So I have been inspired to write again...like every few months, and prayerfully I provide something worth reading. If not now, perhaps later. For someone. Regardless, it is a beginning to a story already begun.

Baby...

I have not written in over a month...busy with life and all the so-called essential things I guess, kinda put away the author. But right now, in this moment, 10-27-10, I had to put words down on this page-so they would be frozen in time and someday, years from now you will be able to read them. Maybe you will know from the first day you were recognized, a "yes +" on a small screen, that I already loved you, cared for you, looked forward to you being here. Hopefully, this space will not be the only place you ever recognize or know that, but regardless I needed to tell someone how amazing it is to feel how I feel right now. I am dreaming I think. Dreaming awake...and you are a reality of my dream but not so much that I am dreaming but just blessed, and overwhelmed by the blessing God has given Melissa and I...that blessing is you.

I am trying to think about the prayers that have created this moment. First all those for me to understand and be able to open myself up to true love. Then the prayers that cleared me of my single-sightedness and allowed me to find my wife...your mommy. Lastly, the prayers we both knelt down and asked of God that brought you into our spirit-which is where you dwell right now. I wonder what you will be like...how will you talk, if you will look like me or you Mom. All I really hope for is that you are healthy, 10 fingers and 10 toes and all the sensibilities God could offer. That is all that matters.

I want to be so much better than I am now. I do not think I am bad, I feel like I am doing well in the world...material success some may say. But that is not what I am talking about. I know God has provided us with the means to take care of our future, but by being better I want to be smarter about all my decisions. I am responsible for you and your mother. I take that role and responsibility seriously...more so even than my own existence, except that my existence is directly tied to your success and opportunity in this world and therefore the two are connected. I want to be a good man, friend, role model, confident, leader, teacher...father. Wow, father. I have never wanted to be anything so much, and want to do it so well. You inspire me, you may never truly realize how much.

I am very happy at this moment. My wife, she...well, she is my everything. She is half of my whole, my heart resides with her. You have been created in a most divine space. A space of pure love and everlasting emotion. All that has been a part of your creation has been beautiful. I love Melissa as I have never loved anyone, and it is in that deep sea of mutuality between two human beings, man and woman, that the seed of your life has been sown. You are a part of God's divine plan for our lives, and I thank him for you. You are the best thought I have ever had...best fear I have ever felt...best anxiety ever placed upon me...best love I have ever known.

I promise to be there for you, to take care of you, to love you and your mother, to provide for you both, and to never let you down. I accept you willingly and completely, and you are the most beautiful gift I could ever have been given. I can't wait to meet you. Daddy loves you very much my sweet, and I will see you soon.

Labor-less Day

We celebrate Labor Day today...but with the unemployment rates sky high and jobs exported faster than "made in China" is printed on all products at Wal-Mart, well, what is the celebration about? I mean I was happy to get off, but more than ecstatic to get back on Tuesday. The President is taking a whipping for the economy-job losses-and the like but he cannot do much about it. He is just one man and actually he cannot even pass legislation-that is Congress' job. The problem with some of our Congressmen is that they are more concerned with re-election than doing what is right...at least that is in my opinion.

A change in party wont change the rules of this game. If the corporations truly wield the power, and let's just call them Labor, which drives both the wages and use of the worker, than Labor day is no more than a day to celebrate the corporation and its inherent control over the people...or the workers of the world. Now before I begin to get off on a Marxist tangent, there has to be a relationship between business, government and the people in any society...most specifically one that is driven by capital. However, in this relationship here in America, the power is held by business-more or less regulated by government and the people, well, their say is limited to a representative who has nothing in common with the average man (woman). As stated the rules of the game have nothing to do with a party-they will exist regardless of what you name the factions folks fall into.

The major problem is that the people are ignorant-in part because they wish to be and in part because the system is so complicated that it cannot be explained in layman's terms, and thus, most being laymen, they will never know the true nature of the system we dwell within. Even as unemployment is discussed, the fact that many businesses have taken their manufacturing arm to foreign countries because of the cost of labor has not been discussed. People speak of it in an anecdotal way, but not with numbers and graphs and charts like they do everything else.

Then we have the Wal-Marts of the world...where Americans choose to buy their goods. Most of the merchandise is not created here in America-so the dollar goes to Wal-Mart then leaves the American economy almost in an instant...but the people cry for jobs and spend their unemployment compensation on goods made in China. Ignorance is always held as a negative term, and it incites anger. Shame that truth does not give rise to the same emotions, for if the truth is that the ignorance of America will lead to her demise then why are we lying to the people? Acting as if pouring money into Wall Street will save the guy on Main Street...Wall Street is concerned with capital, not humanity. Labor is pre-occupied with the same, yet we celebrate it as if the worker should lay praise to the machine.

The greatest trick the devil ever played was to make you think he did not exist.

Mac and Cheese

I am a big brother. Not literally-naw, I am a Big in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. My Little, as we call them, is my man. The other day on my b-day he gives me this home-made card and it says alot of deep stuff. Like no matter how many gifts you give me or where ever you take me, it all don't matter...not like I do not like those things but the real thing I enjoy is just spending time with you. He was like we got each other's backs, we just like mac and cheese. Word, that is what he said, we like mac and cheese. It was probably one of the most beautiful things that anyone has ever said to me.

It made me think about how I go about my life. I mean, I am trying desperately to be a good person, do the right thing all the time. I know that I make mistakes but I am trying. Still, it ain't always how you do things...it is the fact that you do it. In other words, here I am doing all these things with my Little, trying to plan the ultimate time and even not scooping him when I can't think of like the coolest outing...but all that doesn't matter. Just do what you can, and it i appreciated even more. Life is simple like that.

The whole mac and cheese comment, well it got me. I never would have used that term, but it is so fitting. It is like over time, we have kinda melted together and in the process of our relationship "baking" we have both come about with a better perspective on life...better taste for the future and more flavor within our own existence. Cheese is good, and macaroni is alright but together man they are fantastic.

You never know how you will affect people's lives, so you have to be thankful for the moments to do so and you must represent God in all your interactions. My Little, he represents the beauty that God has provided to us when we spend time with children. They see the world in a most unique, and new way. They are more optimistic, more forthcoming and most of all more loving than almost any adult I have ever met. See, they are not tainted, not yet, by life's disappointments. I mean, they see the good in you...even if you can't tell if it is there or not.

The funny thing is, I am supposed to be the mentor in this relationship, but I learn just as much from my Little as, well, as I hope he does from me. At the end of the day, it is all about love. I mean, it cost nothing to love and you really do not have to limit the amount of people that you allow yourself to love...there is no cap on it. Just have to be open to all that love, friendship and time can offer.

Though we started out in different spaces

I see traces of myself in his smile

for a while wondered if I was doing

this 'brother' thing right, being better than just

a buddy

spending money on movies, food and frolic

ironic, this kid a quick study

old soul in a child's frame

the fundamentals what young'un seeking

every time we connect

all he yearning for is teaching

our conversations benefit us both

see the joy in his greeting, no words can

relay

say we vibe like mac and cheese

stick tight like beans and rice

and we might end up being

friends longer than most others...

born in different spaces

still God placed us both as

brothers

copyright 2010

B-Day...the Thirty-somethin' Chronicles

So here it is, August 21st and the Lord has blessed me to get through another year of life. The thirties seem to be the most transitional period of any man and woman's lives, in that as young as you sometimes feel the full girth of your responsibilities become more than evident. In other words, you all grown up now. I have a wife, two homes, a dog, a Director position, and I am one of the anchors in my family. This is not tooting my horn, that does not need to happen, this is what is real when you accept all that you have been led and expected to do. It is not a game...but it is fun all the same.

My relationship with both family and friends is different now-I know there is both a role I play in others lives as well a position they hold in mine. My friends are all moving in a positive direction, even if that direction is just keeping their heads above water and trying to make it...it is positive. I have no time for the negativity the world tries to project on you-got to be beyond that. I can only spend time with those who move through their issues with determination and what I like to call "intestinal fortitude". At this age, there is no such thing as giving up or trying to just getting over on others, no sir. At this age it is about getting up, getting out and getting something...sounds like an old hip-hop song. But that is what it is.

I was just telling someone the other day, I never dreamed of being at this age-not when I was a kid or even more recently. But time passes, regardless of how you try to stay at the same spot in life...time, well it is in control. The major point in even making that statement though, about time, is that you have to do something with it. An example is a few years ago I ran into some overwhelming issues in grad school-and there was a point when I just wanted to quit. Yeah the big Q. But a good friend laid the realest statement on me I ever got- he was like the time gonna pass anyway. Whether it takes you 10 years or 2, the time is gonna pass-question is what you gonna do with it?

Say word. In all my years on this good ol' Earth, damn-am I making the best of my time? There has been plenty wasted, even doing wrong...but if there were lessons and laughs within that then I have to say it was still time well spent. However, at this point, when you are fully aware of where you want to go and all you wish to be (never stop wishing), then time is more of a commodity. No longer am I waiting for time to just pass...waiting for the weekend or the next holiday. Naw, each day, hour, minute...second, is precious in itself.

So all in all, birthdays are the best days. Just get to celebrate yourself, that fact that you exist...your life. Everyone around you, just happy that you are alive and that you have been a part in some minuscule way, of their life. How wonderful it is, to reflect on time and who with and how you have spent it. It is also a day to think about what you plan to do with the next year of your life. I mean, some people make New Year's resolutions, but I tend to make B-Day Resoul-lutions. Yeah, you can bite the style if you want. Just to me, the next year of my own life has more relevance than the calendar year. What do I want to accomplish in the next 365 of my own existence?

I will ponder on where I will be

when the time I find in front of me

is behind

and yesterday

is but a memory in my mind

a reflection of the discipline of hours

passed

and the questions asked of the future

on today

have been answered...

but alas,

I tend to dream during the day

while my night is the only time

I am sleeping

for time awake

is made to create

eyes wide open

for I am seeing all that

I am supposed to be far out in

front of me

reaching towards the stars

for their light heals scars and mistakes

pain and heartbreaks

meaning-

I illuminate the darkness

with statements and phrases

about God's amazing gift

to turn sinner to servant

heathen to healer

all revealed within the midst

of trials and tribulations of life...

I might save somebody's soul

when they hear tale of the rocky road

been traveled

dastardly deeds been done

see they ain't the only one

hopes unraveled

shame shown plain like the sun

yet still here

triumph over challenge

and

balance gained one...

day at a time

on this one day I am

inclined to celebrate

my own birth

allow my self-worth

to shimmer...

shine...

shadow-shatter the impossibilities

never

mine

copyright 2010

Building

My grandmother's birthday was Tuesday...August 10th. She became 89 years old on that day. She is not really able to celebrate like she used to, as she is in a nursing home and she does not talk much. She also no longer walks. But regardless, she has made it another year and as a family we are blessed. So, to celebrate my grandmother as we know she would want us to, there was a family gathering in my hometown with many of her great nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren and family in general. There were people I had not seen in years-simply amazing.

The funny thing is many of these folks live right near me. Just have not touched base or acknowledged the family that is right around. I don't know, it seems like time goes so fast and keeping in touch is so, well, not difficult but not something I have done well. I hope this weekend actually changes how I stay connected with my folks, because that is the way to ensure the family has deep roots. I also think that it was so wonderful that even though my grandmother was in no position to plan a birthday party and get everyone together, still, in spirit she did. Leading simply from the position of matriarch.

I sit here now, and think about my family in a totally different way that how I did just a few days ago. It is bigger, fuller, and definitely a more wonderful family than I even knew that I had. My wife was able to meet people for the first time, and that meant something to everyone as the family is growing. I have promised myself that I will work harder to ensure that I maintain the relationships that were born again on this weekend, and that I stay true to the motto of family that I promote. I pray these are not just words on a page-but soulful sentences that lend to the discipline of action.

Fix

I could not sleep...I just needed to write. I have been writing a bit more frequently lately-but tonight there is no theme, no save the world mantra I am on. I just needed to write-freestyle. I was born into the era, where freestyling was religion. From middle school on, I would be with a crew of my boys and someone would always start rhyming. Usually it would start with a song we all knew, then grow into a beatbox and broken rhyme full of big people words, catch phrases and the ever present "check, check." It may not make alot of sense, or really be about more than a few laughs or jokes on somebody but it was therapy. I think back on those sessions, and it was like so refreshing and free. I miss that type of freedom.

It is so funny, it did not seem like life was so easy back then. I just did not realize. I was just watching VH1 Soul and I saw some old videos. Music, well, for me it is like a time machine. I remember moments, occasions, people...all based on a song or even a beat or hook. I used to say my life had this ill soundtrack-rap, gospel, r&B, pop...all those genres and then some would be on the soundtrack. Different songs and combinations of songs would drop at different moments during my life, my past. Great songs would be on the soundtrack and some underground hits most ears aren't liable to remember. Soundtrack to life.

Music and freedom. Two of the biggest descriptions of my youth. I think back now, as probably everyone does at some point, about what I would do differently. All the apologies I owe to people I will never see again. It is crazy how it all moves so fast. I think that is why I just had to write something down today. I feel like it is rolling by. My life that is. Just whizzing by and I am caught up in some job-career ladder-want to do the right thing-mumbo jumbo, and at times just missing out on life. What is really important? God. My wife. This degree I have been in pursuit of for a decade. My family and friends. My job. You know the regular stuff. The politically correct stuff. The damn near 40 "canned statement" stuff. But beyond that, what? What happened to music and freedom? Passion and fame? Dreams?

My cousin was in town over the weekend and we were talking about jobs. She is an actress. A great actress, who has not gotten that major break as of yet. However, her husband-who is an actor too-may have come across his. To me, it means she is next-but I asked her what if it did not happen. What was her fall back plan? She said there was none. She said she never wanted to just do something, anything, just to do it you know. She had to commit her life to that which felt right...felt good.

The crazy thing for me is that although I knew what she would say, it was still so deep to me. I told her I had heard Keenan Ivory Wayans say that when he was telling his father that he was dropping out of Engineering School at Tuskegee, to be a comedian, his father told him to just finish to have something to fall back on. He told his pop if he had something to "fall back" on, he might just let himself fall. But if there was nothing there-he could not. My cousin basically said the same thing-and in that moment my respect for her rose even more. Nor like it was non-existent prior to that, just that I could dig what she was saying and her passion when telling was real.

I have been one who has lived life in fear. Fear of the fall. I would tell people I had alot of irons in the fire, waiting for one to get hot...however, I would have so many things going on because I would never dedicate my entire existence to one thing-I mean what if I failed? Of just fell? That is living in fear. Someone wise once told me that fear is the lack of faith not the absence of courage...or maybe I just made that up...regardless, the elder Wayans and my cousin do not carry that same type of fear. I admire that.

Guess that will be it for the moment. Not really an entry that is as cohesive as I like to write, but necessary. Sometimes you just have to clear some space in the mental, to continue on.

Thoughts crowded in my mental space

like the red line at 5PM

no seat for the weak minded

so I pretend to gain clarity

with a piece of paper

and a pen

fingertips extend my limbs

to greet keys that will

open a menagerie

of possibilities...formerly crowded

now free

alien

This...world was not so new

to the natives that were present here since well

before ships set sail

and the self-proclaimed alpha males began seeing

the Earth as less than flat

the map may not have had names attached

to places

but there were surely various races, or rather more simply

hues of man

inhabiting the land prior to

the arrival of the

aliens

beings from outside this space

that made claims

in the name of people and nation states

with no basis

no justification except the preoccupation

with ownership of everything within sight

and 3000 miles more than that

from shore to shore

mountaintop to cavern's floor

and 3000 miles more

in fact within 300 years or less

the natives would rest less

die young...decrease

fail to exist

and the aliens would determine

who was fit

to share this place

they know as home

once home-less

sincerity,

rarity for the citizens

erecting fences as borders

or rather borders with fences

to diminish the life chances of those

who chance life for the life

one might make in the New World

no longer-

old story still the same

unless ancestors came atop the ship...

landed on Plymouth rock or were of the same

stock whom were received at Ellis Island

beneath the gaze of Liberty

than liberty not free

fabricated to fit the interests of a chosen few

and all others foreign to the conceptualization

as if beings from outside this thought and space

aliens

copyright 2010

Back on the wagon...

Writing is an addiction. Problem for me is, I usually stop writing...take these enormous breaks for like weeks or months, and that is when I feel I have fallen off the wagon. No words for the page...creatively sober so to speak. Then, all of a sudden I will go on a binge-writing for days or even weeks on end. So with that being said, I feel I am back on the wagon. I have alot of other work I really should be, well, working on right now but free writing is more spiritual for me at the moment. Not even that I have had some deeply profound thoughts or revelations of any kind, just want to get the words that are filling up my mind out onto the page...maybe after I piece through the spillage will I find something that was worthy of the time it took to type it.

I have been listening to this Sherrod case all week, about the African American Department of Agriculture executive who in a speech she made 25 years ago referenced race-and upon the old video resurfacing-has caused an uproar around the nation. Now, I am not even going to discuss the hypocrisy of her ancient speech being put on trial by the media and the public this week, that would be too-well, predictable. What it brought to mind for me, and one of the reasons I know I need to write is the issue of thought. Thought you may ask, by this what do you mean?

To me, in this day and age it is very difficult to think anymore-most specifically aloud. Even every word I write here may one day be scrutinized to either revere me or destroy me-depending on the entry. But the fact of the matter is we will all be judged by what thoughts we have, no matter when we had them. That may not be a bad thing if all thoughts and people who had them were weighed equally...but that is not the case. Issues of race, class, gender and even sexual orientation creep into the analysis of all thoughts made-which in many cases can distort the public opinion on a particular issue or an individual with a particular thought on that issue.

In other words, what you think or anything you have ever thought is who and what you are. Not exactly true, but true enough in today's society. However, those who control the communication channels of the world also have a great influence on thought, and the perceptions thereof. For instance, I can say I love the world but most particularly I love America, here in this blog...but it could be translated that I love America more than the world-which means I love anyone who is not American less than anyone else. Now, that would be untrue-but if it is how the media interpret it, and the talk show host and the journalists then by golly it must be true. Right? Even if you read the blog and see what it actually says, I go on TV and finally explain, the damage is done. That is the Sherrod case in a nutshell, I mean soundbites without summation are not news, but sabotage.

But regardless, are you liable for every word you ever said or wrote down...even if it was in college or in a high school term paper? Are you allowed to change? The public and most critics do not believe so...if you said or wrote it, ever, you are eternally tied to that statement. Well, certain people are, not everybody. I cannot really even say what I think about the topic...I mean I mentally divulge my thoughts here and in scattered journals around my house on a regular basis-so what will those words say about me in the final analysis? I really don't know, guess it depends on who is interpreting my thoughts at the time. Still, that won't really describe me-just a moment in my mind that ended up captured-amongst the million other moments that simply passed without pen and paper, or laptop.

The definition of a man-the figurative he,

last eternally in the words

left by his person

in just a moment

a chat or casual conversation

can be drowned out by a nation's

interpretation

is it love or hatred

his sentences laced with-

confusion or agitation?

debating whether the position

he was taking when talking to

his kids was liberal or conservative

pro-choice or pro-life

the media might just assume

that his statements were purely

negative

positive his message was to

incite protest or

perhaps persuasion

of the right...or maybe that was the left

or all those left in the middle

all thoughts left to an individual's

interpretation

whether made in private

or social occasion

regardless the setting

several years back or

late last night

the analysis is unforgetting

or unforgiven...for giving his opinion

on the who, what, why, when and where

how it may all end up written

at times does not compare

to that which was initially documented

I mean, that is not how I meant it

still sentenced by his sentences

a man's thoughts...

once captured,

can become his prison

a man's words set free

the dichotomy of his

definition

The Phenomenon of Front Porches

I am from the south...I mean, honestly most folks don't associate Virginia with the south, but they just aren't real familiar with history. Richmond, the state capital of Virginia, was also the capital of the confederacy during the Civil War. When I was in school, we did not get a holiday for Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday alone-no it was commonly referred to as the Lee-Jackson-King day. That is Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson. Confederate heroes yes, but not exactly proponents of equal rights and freedom as was King. Ironically, Virginia was the first and for some time the only state that ever elected an African-American governor-but alas I digress. Just trying to prove that Virginia is definitely a southern state. In southern states, folks tend to sit out on the porch in the summer time.

I happen to be doing that as I write, sitting on the porch and watching the life within my neighborhood pass by. It was a pastime in my hometown, and almost like a social event all summer. My parents porch is the gathering place for the well traveled, seldom seen, good Christian, bottle toting little bit of everybody within their neighborhood. People will be driving by and stop for a minute, leaving hours later. The front porch is to community relationships what the kitchen is to the family.

I remember when I started to drive and I would go down my block back home I would just raise my hand out of the window for the enter street-as to "speak" to everyone sitting out on their porches in the summer. My grandmother said it "didn't take nothing to speak to people," so I had best not some neighbor see my folks out and say I saw your son, "but he aint speak." Not cool. So now, when I sit out I give a wave or a holler to any other neighbor doing the same and in essence that is what builds community.

I live in the city, but in a little piece of peace within all the hustle and bustle. The front porch and pretty large park beside my home were two key selling features for me. For the first few years I owned the place however, I did not spend much time on the porch...did not even do alot to the front of the house. Recently, my wife and I have made significant changes-plants, paint, shrubbery, furniture, etc. that create the subtle outdoor room feel. Extending the space, and allowing us to actually live in the city not just inside a house in the city...feel me?

A front porch also gives you a view of your neighborhood...the cars that go up and down all day, the different folks walking by...what your neighbors really look like because you can stare and just make it seem like you just chilling. It also let everyone know that you are present and accounted for, and fully invested in your block. Seeing is believing right. I just think the front porch is an essential piece of the home. I hope to always have one...

Cheesecake...

I am a dessert dude. Honestly, I feel like dessert should be served after every meal. Best cheesecake I have had in a while I must say is the caramel apple cheesecake from, where else, the Cheesecake Factory...delicious. I am not doing adds or anything but i just had it and it is, well you know, what can I say! Anyway, cheesecake is like a delicacy you cannot have very often, or the pounds keep coming. To treat yourself to a nice piece of that cake...

Status check...

When I was a little kid, I used to dream about 2010...like spaceships and alien life forms, robots and cities in the sky. But 2010, although different from the past, is not so futuristic. Life is truly very much the same, folks still trying to make it. Materialism is the religion of choice, and the word freedom can be used to justify just about anything-from personal behavior to the acts of states. Again, not so different from 1910. I mean the technology has advanced...but does that mean the people have?

I would argue that communication, in all its various forms, has broadened in a way that will drive the world to both its highest and lowest levels in the future. For instance, right now upon posting people in the far reaches of the world can read my thoughts, nearly instantaneously. But just the same, someone can hack your account and wipe out all your money in an instant. All via the communication super highway...I mean know the proper term is information, but all these various systems are communicating so more than anything it is all about communication.

Communication. It seems there are so many ways to communicate now that we seldom use the old fashioned sit down discussion of days past. No, it is a text or e-mail at this point...we don't even use the phone we carry (at all times) to talk anymore. At least not with our mouths. It is all about the world knowing everything about you-what you just ate, read, saw, did...but in actuality they all know nothing. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. etc....all so everyone can socially connect every second of every day. This is our present...my generation X's futuristic tomorrow that Luke Skywalker prophesied about in a galaxy far, far away. Well, not quite. But this is what 2010 has brought about.

Still, with all these forms of communication there are no less wars, 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, the high school dropout rate is alarming and poverty...it is still the same. It adds fuel to the debate on whether our history, American or global at this point, is a linear progression. In other words, is man continually progressing towards an elevated state of being? Is that even possible?

I do not know the answer to these questions, or the multitude of others that fall in behind them. It really all depends on how one sees the world. To some the atomic bomb, was progress...to others, the beginning of the end. Nuclear energy is now the topic of discussion amongst the world's countries. Who should be allowed to possess its infinite power, and capability of destruction. No one. But that is not the debate. Again, it goes to how one sees the world. The world in the year 2010.

Where are we headed? Humanity that is, what is the destination for our people? There are so many opinions and now, with the communication capacity of the web, those opinions are multiplied by the billions. There is no consensus to life anymore. There are pockets of belief and conformity-but the fragmentation of thought continues by the second. Still, in the midst of what some may say is chaos-love continues to survive, children are laughing, people are getting old, racism, sexism and hate are diminishing...we are changing. Not all good, but not all bad.

2010.