Thursday, May 22, 2008

Convicted...

I have never really felt like anything was permanent. Not my relationships, not my status in life...not even my feelings about my own existence. What does permanence mean? The opposite of temporary? Forever? Well, today, right now at this moment I feel a sense of permanence...in my conviction to serve God. I have been in a conversation all evening about when and where to serve as well as being posed the question of time that I will serve...all in the name of love. The questions came not from those who doubt my assertion, but who use caution when they speak of the Almighty. At the time of our conversation I felt even more convicted, but now I sit here and try to make sure that was not because of the moment that I found myself within, or truly because the spirit is all that my conviction is about.


It must be understood, that everyone does not believe in God. Nor of those that do, do all believe in him the same way. There are a multitude of variations of belief-yet only one God. In my system he controls all things, planet and universe, and all within it. I believe your path in life is written, and based on the decisions you make along the way you will live and meet your destiny. I cannot prove this theory-but it is mine and I embrace it. I also believe that God speaks to me...not some crazy voice in the night but within my spirit he provides guidance, and through the lessons of life I find ways to apply it. I ask myself have I ever totally trusted God, and I cannot answer. I want to say yes, but if I analyze my actions carefully I may say no. Not all the time. But that is why this revelation, this conviction that I feel is so important now.

I must trust in God...in the decisions that I have made and pray on all those that I even think to make in the future. Though I waver, and struggle to stay on the path of righteousness I am convicted in my belief of the Almighty-and that his power governs my existence.

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