Do you ever really know someone?

I ask myself sometime, do you ever really know someone...like really know them? You may be acquainted with a person for years, even your whole life but never really know them. This may sound vague, so I guess I will have to break it down. If your friend and you both discussed an opportunity at one time, and later, the friend actually pursued the opportunity-without ever acknowledging that he/she was even planning on doing so-would that be somewhat shady? Again, I know it all seems vague, but bear with me for a moment. It comes down to this, I know in life each man or woman first thinks of him or herself, before anyone else and many think that individual success is the only true pursuit in life. However, if in this pursuit they with hold things from those closest to them, just to ensure individual gain well that is to me, and only me, just not cool. I mean, when things are hidden, then there seems to be something else to them. By hiding the "thing", it attachs a different set of emotions. For example, if I were to visit a someone and intentionally not tell my girl, then it would appear that I was hiding something. Especially, if I shared most everything with her. In that hiding would be the inference of necessity-necessity to hide seeing someone because of-what? It is the what that is often that which is not cool.

The above being stated, my friend's apparent hiding of his pursuit of this opportunity, again, appears not cool because of what? Well, whatever reason it could not be mentioned...not discussed, explained or even laughed about. It is that which is very different than how the relationship with my friend and I has been. It is all the speculation that is behind the unknown reason that now hurts our relationship and changes my point of view. Again, everyone is out for him or herself...just never really thought this person was like that. Everything I even think now could be wrong...a wealth of assumption based on conversations not had and knowledge gained second-hand. Still, something is different. There is an air of neglect and slight disrespect in the midst and it is discouraging.

The fact is I do not necessarily trust easily...not everyone can be let in to your personal circle. Acquaintances are one thing, but friends...true friends, well, that is something entirely different. I want the best for all and would hope all wanted that for me...and I cannot and do not doubt that. But right now, today...something, with my friend, seems off...not right. I am skeptical, just of the rationale in our lack of conversation and disclosure. I wonder why? I have no answer for my wonderment and thus, it ends where it begins...

As much as I would like to call my friend, and talk about this I feel that I have no place in doing that. I mean, I am owed no explanation...no anything. Life is to be lived to the fullest, and every man must first think of himself. I guess I should too. No harm in that. Yet, that is just not me...well, not entirely. All this, again, could be no more than over-reaction. Still, it has put my mind and heart in a different place...if for today only and regardless of tomorrow I will not be quite the same...just really never know people...guess that is the lesson.