Thursday, July 22, 2010

Back on the wagon...

Writing is an addiction. Problem for me is, I usually stop writing...take these enormous breaks for like weeks or months, and that is when I feel I have fallen off the wagon. No words for the page...creatively sober so to speak. Then, all of a sudden I will go on a binge-writing for days or even weeks on end. So with that being said, I feel I am back on the wagon. I have alot of other work I really should be, well, working on right now but free writing is more spiritual for me at the moment. Not even that I have had some deeply profound thoughts or revelations of any kind, just want to get the words that are filling up my mind out onto the page...maybe after I piece through the spillage will I find something that was worthy of the time it took to type it.

I have been listening to this Sherrod case all week, about the African American Department of Agriculture executive who in a speech she made 25 years ago referenced race-and upon the old video resurfacing-has caused an uproar around the nation. Now, I am not even going to discuss the hypocrisy of her ancient speech being put on trial by the media and the public this week, that would be too-well, predictable. What it brought to mind for me, and one of the reasons I know I need to write is the issue of thought. Thought you may ask, by this what do you mean?

To me, in this day and age it is very difficult to think anymore-most specifically aloud. Even every word I write here may one day be scrutinized to either revere me or destroy me-depending on the entry. But the fact of the matter is we will all be judged by what thoughts we have, no matter when we had them. That may not be a bad thing if all thoughts and people who had them were weighed equally...but that is not the case. Issues of race, class, gender and even sexual orientation creep into the analysis of all thoughts made-which in many cases can distort the public opinion on a particular issue or an individual with a particular thought on that issue.

In other words, what you think or anything you have ever thought is who and what you are. Not exactly true, but true enough in today's society. However, those who control the communication channels of the world also have a great influence on thought, and the perceptions thereof. For instance, I can say I love the world but most particularly I love America, here in this blog...but it could be translated that I love America more than the world-which means I love anyone who is not American less than anyone else. Now, that would be untrue-but if it is how the media interpret it, and the talk show host and the journalists then by golly it must be true. Right? Even if you read the blog and see what it actually says, I go on TV and finally explain, the damage is done. That is the Sherrod case in a nutshell, I mean soundbites without summation are not news, but sabotage.

But regardless, are you liable for every word you ever said or wrote down...even if it was in college or in a high school term paper? Are you allowed to change? The public and most critics do not believe so...if you said or wrote it, ever, you are eternally tied to that statement. Well, certain people are, not everybody. I cannot really even say what I think about the topic...I mean I mentally divulge my thoughts here and in scattered journals around my house on a regular basis-so what will those words say about me in the final analysis? I really don't know, guess it depends on who is interpreting my thoughts at the time. Still, that won't really describe me-just a moment in my mind that ended up captured-amongst the million other moments that simply passed without pen and paper, or laptop.

The definition of a man-the figurative he,
last eternally in the words
left by his person
in just a moment
a chat or casual conversation
can be drowned out by a nation's
interpretation
is it love or hatred
his sentences laced with-
confusion or agitation?
debating whether the position
he was taking when talking to
his kids was liberal or conservative
pro-choice or pro-life
the media might just assume
that his statements were purely
negative
positive his message was to
incite protest or
perhaps persuasion
of the right...or maybe that was the left
or all those left in the middle
all thoughts left to an individual's
interpretation
whether made in private
or social occasion
regardless the setting
several years back or
late last night
the analysis is unforgetting
or unforgiven...for giving his opinion
on the who, what, why, when and where
how it may all end up written
at times does not compare
to that which was initially documented
I mean, that is not how I meant it
still sentenced by his sentences
a man's thoughts...
once captured,
can become his prison
a man's words set free
the dichotomy of his
definition



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